Without Sun ~


I wish there was more blue

in the sky outside my window
because gray flannel is so dull

and I’m weary of crows
gathering on my walls
in a murder of shadows.

©Susie Clevenger 2018

Real Toads Fussy Little Forms ~ Cherita

Comments

Kerry O'Connor said…
I love how the shadows deepen with each line. This is great, Susie.
November 10, 2018 at 12:28 PM
tonispencer said…
a fitting story for this season. The murder of shadows is so good.
November 10, 2018 at 12:57 PM
Fireblossom said…
During winter it can seem like the sun just never comes out. Then it does and its reflection off the snow is blinding.
November 10, 2018 at 1:10 PM
Kim M. Russell said…
Wow, Susie, I love this, especially the use of colour and the 'murder of shadows'.
November 10, 2018 at 1:38 PM
brudberg said…
A murder of shadow... a fantastic last line, especially with the line before being about crows.
November 10, 2018 at 2:42 PM
Vicki said…
Love this, I know I'll be yearning for the bluer sky's in a couple of Month's
November 10, 2018 at 3:28 PM
Helen said…
Happy in sunlight describes me too! Though I wear the Men’s fragrance Gray Flannel!
November 10, 2018 at 3:54 PM
Old Egg said…
Who would want to get up to face the day with the dull weather and crows threatening? I love how you have banished the colour from your poem in the narrator's depressed state.
November 10, 2018 at 7:33 PM
Anonymous said…
oh damn! what an image in my mind .... what an ending! great cherita Susie :)
November 10, 2018 at 7:37 PM
Marian said…
Perfect, Susie. Just perfect. That last line is killer! :)
November 11, 2018 at 8:59 AM
Anmol (HA) said…
Ooh, this is so good, with the slow buildup and then the striking image of crows and "a murder of shadows". Loved it! :-)
November 11, 2018 at 9:35 AM
Vivian Zems said…
I love the darkness of this....strange of me t say, but it works!
November 11, 2018 at 5:02 PM
Margaret said…
AND IT'S ONLY NOVEMBER 11th! I do know what you mean - I loved Northern Michigan - it is beautiful BUT the sun is almost non-existent all winter. It is so gray and gloomy. I painted my walls in colors that countered that grayness...
November 11, 2018 at 8:23 PM
rallentanda said…
I wish there was more blue too...and I am not talking about the sky. Great cherita and like everyone I thought' a murder of shadows' is inspired.
November 12, 2018 at 7:25 AM
purplepeninportland.com said…
Excellent layering of darkness. Love “a murder of shadows”
November 13, 2018 at 3:39 PM
Kira said…
Love the word pictures you painted for us of the shadows! Wonderful!
November 13, 2018 at 9:31 PM
Helen Patrice said…
Nice work with this one! How the shadows deepen by the line.
November 14, 2018 at 12:00 AM
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