"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Without Sun ~


I wish there was more blue

in the sky outside my window
because gray flannel is so dull

and I’m weary of crows
gathering on my walls
in a murder of shadows.

©Susie Clevenger 2018

Real Toads Fussy Little Forms ~ Cherita

19 comments :

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love how the shadows deepen with each line. This is great, Susie.

Toni Spencer said...

a fitting story for this season. The murder of shadows is so good.

Fireblossom said...

During winter it can seem like the sun just never comes out. Then it does and its reflection off the snow is blinding.

Kim Russell said...

Wow, Susie, I love this, especially the use of colour and the 'murder of shadows'.

brudberg said...

A murder of shadow... a fantastic last line, especially with the line before being about crows.

Vicki Rogers said...

Love this, I know I'll be yearning for the bluer sky's in a couple of Month's

Helen said...

Happy in sunlight describes me too! Though I wear the Men’s fragrance Gray Flannel!

Old Egg said...

Who would want to get up to face the day with the dull weather and crows threatening? I love how you have banished the colour from your poem in the narrator's depressed state.

willow_switches: Pat said...

oh damn! what an image in my mind .... what an ending! great cherita Susie :)

Ron. said...

Yum.

Marian said...

Perfect, Susie. Just perfect. That last line is killer! :)

Anmol (HA) said...

Ooh, this is so good, with the slow buildup and then the striking image of crows and "a murder of shadows". Loved it! :-)

Linda Lee Lyberg said...

This is fabulous!

Vivian Zems said...

I love the darkness of this....strange of me t say, but it works!

Margaret said...

AND IT'S ONLY NOVEMBER 11th! I do know what you mean - I loved Northern Michigan - it is beautiful BUT the sun is almost non-existent all winter. It is so gray and gloomy. I painted my walls in colors that countered that grayness...

rallentanda said...

I wish there was more blue too...and I am not talking about the sky. Great cherita and like everyone I thought' a murder of shadows' is inspired.

Sara McNulty said...

Excellent layering of darkness. Love “a murder of shadows”

Kira said...

Love the word pictures you painted for us of the shadows! Wonderful!

Helen Patrice said...

Nice work with this one! How the shadows deepen by the line.

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