Take The Moon

My heart is a ticking clock
dividing time with your smile
and the barrenness of your anger.

Take the moon, the last rose,
the lust memories I have stored
in my flesh, but don’t rob me
of my reflection in your blue eyes.

We are two souls wrapped into
one eternity. Forgive me for stepping
into the starlight of another’s arms.

©Susie Clevenger 2014

Margaret at Real Toads had us revisiting previous challenges. I chose one from Kerry, Jorge Luis Borges. 

Comments

Jim said…
I had to think here for a bit, Susie. Then I decided that the last line is appropriate. You wrote it so nice and smooth.

Been there, done that and more. All kinds of mixed emotions enter into the mind and heart and they really don't go away. Ever, I am thinking, now 46 years later.
..
August 24, 2014 at 5:20 PM
DeniseinVA said…
Hi Susie, that's a lovely poem, thanks for sharing.
August 24, 2014 at 5:24 PM
Anonymous said…
I especially like the first stanza.
August 24, 2014 at 7:15 PM
Grace said…
The ending verse caught me by surprise ~ I love it Susie ~
August 24, 2014 at 7:16 PM
ZQ said…
A wonderful and interesting piece.
ZQ
August 24, 2014 at 7:16 PM
Bodhirose said…
That's a tough place to be...between a person's smile and their anger. But you are very clear that you still want to see your reflection in those blue eyes...very poignant, Susie.
August 24, 2014 at 7:51 PM
Susan said…
The ending surprised me too despite the hints of loss and substitution earlier. I thought someone did something to the speaker. Ha! Good one.
August 24, 2014 at 10:05 PM
Sumana Roy said…
I like the division creating many pathways and the last few lines adding a mystery to it...a perfect maze..
August 24, 2014 at 10:10 PM
Marian said…
this is a bit of a maze, isn't it? it's very effective, Susie.
August 25, 2014 at 5:17 AM
Kerry O'Connor said…
Each section of this poem is perfectly constructed. You achieve an amazing sense of balance between dark and light in your poetry, Susie.
August 25, 2014 at 10:01 AM
Margaret said…
If I read this correctly, it isn't always easy to let go … but obviously, sometimes it is for the best to step into another's line of vision. It IS hard to let go of some memories, old "loves"…. A twisting maze of a poem, for sure - Nice surprise ending (if I understand it correctly)
August 26, 2014 at 11:05 AM
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