Desperation Is The Worm

The laughter is so close to madness
I can’t tell if sanity has made
the final scissor cut or if I am
merely balancing on the razor’s edge.

Desperation is the worm eating
the delicate flesh of coping and
I wonder if there is enough life
to carry another scar.

Carpe diem? Am I to seize this day
that is as dead as the hours that
preceded it? Is there anything noble
about clawing the side of a rabbit hole
which is too deep for me to escape?

H O P E …. Be everything you are
to steer me away from everything
I am not…I want to taste life without
the bitter twist of lemons.


©Susie Clevenger 2014

 With Robin William's death it has caused me to sit with my demons of the past and reflect on their effect on me. This piece is written from that dark place I lived in for years. 





Comments

Kathryn Dyche said…
I truly felt this . . . Robin Williams death stirred things up for me too. Trying to write a piece but it's slow to form.
brudberg said…
That false laughter.. can we take another of seizing such a moment .. So well used words.. So deep understanding of that desperation.. And that rabbit-hole.. Where only with hope can get through to the moment when we can climb out again.. Great write Suzie
Grace said…
I admire the title and gritty verses specially opening verses ~ That rabbit hole can be very large & dark & full of bitterness ~
Sherry Blue Sky said…
A deep and powerfully affecting write, when applied to Robin's walk on the edge of the blade - so brilliant! - and to anyone's dark times. We all get tired of sucking lemons. I am so glad, Susie, you got through those years and emerged into the sunshine.
Anonymous said…
you know, that last line I first read as "bitter twist of demons" then realized I had put that in there. I'm glad yours are in the rear view mirror, Susie. some out there, they're in the windshield. thanks for adding your voice ~
Kerry O'Connor said…
Phew! That last stanza will stay with me all day.
Carrie Van Horn said…
Susie I think his death has made many of us have a deeper perspective.