"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Erratic Beating of Alone

© Ellen Wilson

If this stone angel can pray,
then why do my lips remain glued?
I cannot bear my life without you,
in this silence I am afraid.

Your voice filled my empty space,
within its warmth my heart found home,
now it is only the erratic beating of alone.
My spirit feels the crush of this somber place.

Memories float around me like dust.
I reach for a moment to see it dissolve
into the thin air of loss breaking my resolve
to not let my joy tarnish and turn to rust.

Photographs are all I have of your smile.
It is sunshine in the clouds of my pain
where it leaves a small hope the steady rain
of tears will dissipate in a little while.

©Susie Clevenger 2012
Kerry at Real Toads challenged us to write the poem form
"In Memoriam". Sadly all I could create was a poem that rhymed,
 but for me that is a major accomplishment since I rarely do rhyme. :)


manicddaily said...

Hi Susie! I think you did a good job with the form. I especially like this line:

I reach for a moment to see it dissolve--

It is certainly true that when grasping for something like a moment - or a memory - so hard to hold. Very poignant. k.

Mary Mansfield said...

Those first two lines just tear at my heart! Even without sticking to meter, the rhyming helps carry the poem forward. Nicely done!

hedgewitch said...

You worked in a very strong opening stanza, Susie, and though I can tell this is not your natural style, still this has your voice, I think, and works as a poem quite well. Always good to stretch your wings like this. 'erratic beating of alone..' is powerful.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I love those opening lines, too, Susie. Great hook! You did really well with the form and rhyming......a poignant poem, with pitch-perfect voice.

Kerry O'Connor said...

The sense of hopelessness and futility is so well captured in these stanzas, which begs the question: How does one carry on when a loved one dies?

Kay L. Davies said...

The first two lines grabbed me, Susie. I think you wrote a lovely poem here, and your rhyme scheme is certainly done according to the prompt, which is far more than I was able to do. As soon as I saw your photo of the grave with "Hunger" on it, my free verse contribution sprang almost fully written into my head, and I left the envelope quatrain alone completely.
Thanks for the use of your photo. I love it when a picture speaks to me so strongly.

Hannah said...

"Your voice filled my empty space,
within its warmth my heart found home,
now it is only the erratic beating of alone.
My spirit feels the crush of this somber place."

This one hits the raw-aloneness hard, Susie.

Well written piece!

Lolamouse said...

Your poem has such a strong sense of longing and helplessness. Event though you say it's not your typical form, it's quite strong.

Laura Maria said...

Love the opening lines. This piece is so expressive, I can really feel the emotion you put into it.
Thanks for the visit and comment you paid me!

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