Drum Song of Escape


Image:Susie Clevenger

A teacup moon rests

on its starlight saucer

watching night roamers

walk ribbons of pavement

lined with electric globes.

 

Escape plays its drumbeat

of shoes along concrete

competing with traffic’s rumble.

 

All paths lead to tomorrow,

but in the final hours of Saturday night

darkness teases silhouettes splashing

against sleeping windows there are

rainbows at the next streetlight.


 ©Susie Clevenger 2020

Poets and Storytellers United Weekly Scribblings #26

Comments

Dr. Vandana Sharma said…
A view from the moon's viewpoint, amazingly done!!
July 1, 2020 at 2:24 PM
Helen said…
You took my breath away ~~~~
July 1, 2020 at 3:07 PM
Sanaa Rizvi said…
This is absolutely OUTSTANDING, Susie!😍 So much to love here especially; "Escape plays its drumbeat of shoes along concrete competing with traffic’s rumble." Thank you so much for writing to the prompt! *swoon*💘
July 1, 2020 at 4:25 PM
Ron. Lavalette said…
OMG Ms. C... This is beyond just merely outstanding; this is, um, unspeakably great! Not one 'meh' line, or image, or word anywhere in sight. And your last line totally slammed it!

And the artwork...Oy, don't get me started.

July 1, 2020 at 4:36 PM
Vivian Zems said…

Wow..."Escape plays its drumbeat

of shoes along concrete

competing with traffic’s rumble."

My fav bit. You are the queen of metaphors

July 1, 2020 at 9:56 PM
Kim M. Russell said…
Pure gorgeousness, Susie! I love the ‘ribbons of pavement’ seen from the point of view of a teacup moon. My favourite lines captured sounds magically:
‘Escape plays its drumbeat
of shoes along concrete
competing with traffic’s rumble’.
As I finished reading, I could hear echoes of Tom Wait’s ‘Heart of Saturday Night’ in my head.
July 2, 2020 at 4:04 AM
Rosemary Nissen-Wade said…
How beautifully you built up this scene! And yes, as Ron notes, the image is wonderful too. What a rare talent you are, altogether!
July 2, 2020 at 8:54 AM
indybev said…
This is the most perfect capture of night in the city. Beautiful phrase tumbles after beautiful phrase. Bravo, Susie!
July 2, 2020 at 10:44 AM
Rommy said…
I was really enchanted by this. It reminded me how magical a busy city could be by moonlight. I don't have much occasion to go into the city these days for obvious reasons. But it makes me look forward to the time when I can.
July 2, 2020 at 5:19 PM
Jim said…
This is a pretty poem, Susie, very peaceful. I was surprised at the rainbow but I love watching the street light ray pattern in the wet coming down, or blowing by.
..
July 2, 2020 at 11:08 PM
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