Wind and Wing



Spring found me tabled
at critique and question.

I didn’t fit their norm.
They didn’t fit my unique.

They: I can’t see inside your head.
Me: I can’t dream outside your rhyme.

There wasn’t much left after the ink and smudge
so I folded my poem into a butterfly and
and set it free to fly their wind.

©Susie Clevenger 2018

To make it clear I am not opposed to critique of my work. I appreciate words that help me grow, improve my writing. This spring I found myself at a poetry workshop in the center of pick a part. I understand at times people don't get me. That's fine. I've looked at some of my work and didn't get me either. lol Oh well, I should look at the bright side....with all the blackout of my poems, they found poetry. :) 

Comments

Sherry Blue Sky said…
Wow, I cant imagine people being critical of your work. I think sometimes people take "being in a workshop" as an opportunity to strut their egoes, rather than to encourage the sharing of Muse and work. It reflects poorly on them.
Anonymous said…
The truthful crafts-person, whether writer, poet, photographer, painter etc. knows the key truth/rule of great work: Time.
Time for a piece to sit; to be able to come back to it with a distanced view and perspective, 3rd party viewing, where one can observe and note, recognize the passion and soul (hopefully it exists in the work) yet not be "in the moment of creation" - in order to best be able to revise, edit etc. And if one is lucky, one has developed this fine characteristic over time, through mentoring, by honest aspect and appreciation by those who can stand back and aren't just overly stroking egos, whether by accredited professor, established artist etc. (I could go on for novella length, but I will spare you these words.)

Of course, having a healthy sense of humour helps, yes? In recognition that we are fickle - fickle for our own tastes, as they change and evolve, as we grow, learn, acquire more life experiences under our belts and sheets, in our dreams and aspirations. And so, a wise decision, to set it all free - how lovely, this butterfly ~ let it wing its own way to the realms where it will soar, and land, to be sighted by those who are there, in the moment.

This is a lovely gem of a butterfly poem Susie. And yes, the phrasing is more than just wonderful.

And may you continue to poem and pen as you craft and grow yourself, and of course, honour your unique language - as distinct as your eyes and fingerprints.
Anmol (HA) said…
Ah, this is so well said. Critique has a role to play but it's only one part of our development and evolution, be it in life or any of our vocations including writing. It can never pinpoint the source of our creations and the multitude of stories that lead us to express it in such a manner. In the end, we are the best judges of our own written word — the best improvisers, the best critiques. We should be receptive to others' opinions and glean from them what is significant. And that's about it.

A very well-penned verse. And I love that you don't get yourself sometimes; that is half the charm of it. I can relate with that. :-)

-HA
Sanaa Rizvi said…
I love the image "folded my poem into a butterfly and set it free to fly their wind".. sometimes our words don't make sense to others but that doesn't make their intensity any less 💞

Carrie Van Horn said…
I get you Susie....and I think you are amazing!! Your poetry always says what we are unable to say. Poetry can say different things to different people sometimes, and that is okay, but that does not mean it is not wonderful. You are always welcome to come to a writing group I belong to called "Word Crafters" We are through the library I work at Baldwin Boettcher Library in Humble Tx. Our group meets every Wednesday at 5 pm at the Lone Star College North Harris at W. W. Thorne. We would love to have you! (There is no critiquing, only encouraging.) :-)
Rommy said…
I love the cool way you structured the shape of the piece while thumbing your nose at the idea of having to conform to someone else's notion of structure. It was an adorable touch to an already delightful piece.

I think every one who sits down to write poetry learns after awhile that not everyone is going to 'get them'. And it's all good - not everyone has to. Also it's cool that there are people who are willing to give up part of their precious time to help others figure out where an idea could be stated more clearly or developed better. But that's lightyears away from the feeling of being 'picked apart' as you describe. *shrug* May as well make the art that delights you and flies with its' own beauty in your sky when that happens.
there is allusion and there is direct meaning - as poet you use all the devices including flights of fancy and that makes your poems all the richer -
Upamanyu Malik said…
Your poetry says what we are unable to say. Poetry can say wonderful things, thank you!