Lost In The Pruning


Two Old Men Eating Soup, 1819-1823 ~ Francisco de Goya 


Even my skull rebels
at the sound of my
dying brain…

It tries to retreat
from the song of hell
sung from the tongue
of lost memories.

Where is mom?
She once lived
in the mortar
between reality
and recall, but
now I mewl for
her arms that
never hold me.

Is this the lake
of fire evangelist’s
told me I would
swim in if I didn’t
swallow their amen?

My arm still delivers blood
when hands bury a needle,
so the ability to breathe flames
must be my resurrection.

Look into my eyes and
watch me disappear….
I’ve already forgotten your face.
It was lost in the pruning.

©Susie Clevenger 2016

Bjorn's Nightmare Challenge @ Real Toads

Comments

brudberg said…
This is so sinister and dark.. the images that merge into each other, they draw blood... while the brain goes wild... Love your choice of Goya..
Sherry Blue Sky said…
WOW! Stellar write, Susie!
Outlawyer said…
Oh dear--there are so many kinds of pruning--strokes, old age--now they say this is what happens in schizophrenia--very telling and strong poem, Susie, thanks. k.
Maude Lynn said…
Outstanding, Susie!
hedgewitch said…
Nothing could be more of a nightmare than this--the sense of being trapped in a decaying relic, the disoriented shifts from one kind of consciousness to another, the memories that bring no consolation, but rather only loss...really fine, and terrifying, writing, Susie.
Kerry O'Connor said…
Wow, Susie! This is so, so good. Such excellent questions, and the persona of the narrator is very authentically portrayed. A remarkable piece.
I echo Kerry: remarkable! This was a real tour de force!
Hannah said…
Dark and perfect!!

I love this section, too:

"now I mewl for
her arms that
never hold me.

Is this the lake
of fire evangelist’s
told me I would
swim in if I didn’t
swallow their amen?"

Awesome, Susie!
Gillena Cox said…
nuances of a nightmare phoenix, splendid image

"so the ability to breathe flames
must be my resurrection."

much love...
said…
The first and last stanzas are my favorites. And this:
"She once lived
in the mortar
between reality
and recall"

This, of course, makes me think of my mother.
Magaly Guerrero said…
I was taken by the questions and the imagery. Love the back and forth, between what was and how it could have affected what is happening now. The last two lines are just brilliant.
Bekkie Sanchez said…
This gave me stunning visions I loved it! From the start to the finish it had my attention.