Metal Throat


A metal throat sings
goodbye songs collected
on its vocal chords into
midnight fog and tears.

Feeling pours notes into her brain through
 the funnel of a gravel voiced rocker.

Cocooned in a rubber wheeled ghost
a broken heart slips through night undetected,
anonymous, burdened, singing a duet with pain.

Not knowing how many miles
it will take to put enough pavement
between he said and forgiven
she lets agony devour numb.


©Susie Clevenger 2015


This piece was inspired by a line from David Huerta's poem Aural:
"The car anointed with music slips into the night."
photo credit: soilse via photopin cc

Real Toads Sunday Mini Challenge ~ David Huerta

Comments

Grace said…
I admire the title, metal throat, and that graveled note of agony devouring the numb ~ The singing a duet with pain is palpable ~

Thanks for participating with Sunday Challenge Susie and wishing you happy weekend ~
January 11, 2015 at 12:42 PM
Unknown said…
This poem is really complex. I loved the odd word sequences that you used "gravel voiced rocker" for example. This part right here really helped define both the video that you posted with this, and the hard voice in which this poem is iterated.
January 11, 2015 at 2:09 PM
brudberg said…
Amazingly well written. The combination of the voice of a rocker and the car with makes for perfect emagery. I can actually hear that voice with the pain it brings.
January 11, 2015 at 3:18 PM
ZQ said…
Whew! I could see and feel it.
ZQ
January 11, 2015 at 4:15 PM
Anonymous said…
Songs in a car can be amazingly powerful. You have caught that here, Susie. The combination of the throat of the car and singer is very apt. Thanks. k.
January 11, 2015 at 7:43 PM
Sherry Blue Sky said…
Powerful, Susie.......the fog and tears and the voice of the "gravel-voiced rocker".....really well done.
January 11, 2015 at 7:52 PM
Hannah said…
The imagery that trails through this is vivid and to hear the music how it inspired you as well...powerful writing, Susie.
January 11, 2015 at 8:12 PM
Anonymous said…
I can relate to this. I took to the road, listening to the radio, arguing with myself, wondering if I could forgive, "singing a duet with pain"...this is so real.
January 12, 2015 at 4:30 AM
HA said…
That is a sensitive write. Such a song has a melancholic comfort to it... the comfort in being shrouded by it.
Some great phrases like "the funnel of a gravel voiced rocker" and "she lets agony devour numb".
Great job.
January 12, 2015 at 6:57 AM
hedgewitch said…
This is exquisite, Susie, and really has the mood and sharp, imaginative language that Huerta seems to have been into--you make it your own, and the line you work from comes to life. Beautiful.
January 12, 2015 at 9:06 AM
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