Without Air

November 24, 2014

I want to know

who I am beneath

the me I carry to

fool the world.

Bits and pieces

of the sky light

my eyes, but when

did my mother’s

smile disappear

from my lips?

So many words

wing across my

thoughts leaving

me feathered

and frozen to

dreams I can’t

decipher.

Who am I hangs

its question mark

on the clouds

while I look for

butterfly shapes

in the fluff.

I am a mess of

unsettled, divided.

Perhaps trying to find

myself in a whirlpool

is more madness

than trying to learn

to breathe without air.

©Susie Clevenger 2014

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Comments

brudberg said…

Oh that last stanza.. this is painful to read.. I hope there are ways to bring your mother's smile back to you..

November 24, 2014 at 3:49 PM

Kathryn Dyche said…

I could feel pieces of me in this . . . the questioning of self. I loved feathered and frozen to dreams and trying to learn to breathe without air. Painfully powerful.

November 24, 2014 at 5:39 PM

Sherry Blue Sky said…

The smile disappearing...so sad, Susie.....and trying to learn to breathe without air- very painful. I, too, hope the smile returns to your lips, and some ease to your heart. I love the part about the bits and pieces of sky lighting your eyes.

November 24, 2014 at 7:35 PM

Magaly Guerrero said…

I was going to say, "Such helplessness." But changed my mind. The speaker isn't helpless; she's asking and searching and wondering... I trust she'll find again; maybe not her mother's smile, but one of her own.

November 25, 2014 at 12:42 AM