"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

A Storm of Words

In the salt and pepper night
of moon and shadows
I hear crickets play
calypso music in the reeds.

Alone tickles my skin with comfort
as I lay in the grass watching fireflies
and listen to the drumbeat of my heart.

Fifteen is a precipice I wish
to leap from to end the sound
of voices trying to change me.

Described with so many if’s,
“If she would lose weight”
“If she wasn’t such a tomboy”
“If she wasn’t so broken”
“if she wasn’t so odd”
I just want to hear someone say,
“She is exactly who she needs to be.”

There is a whole world in me
I travel with my pen…..
ink escapes lined with poetry
where words don’t have
sharp edges to hurt me.

It seems strange words are my savior
when it is words that cause me such pain.

©Susie Clevenger 2013

At Real Toads we were given a list of words by Timoteo to use as inspiration for our poetry. For some reason the word list took me back to when I was fifteen.  Get Listed ~ Of Catnip & Moons


mindlovemisery said...

Oh Susie this is absolutely incredible. I can relate to this on so many levels. I have always wanted to be loved and accepted as is (doesn't everyone?). All those things you said "If she..." I have heard them all

aspiritofsimplicity said...

I love this. words can be a two edged sword can't they? It seems so much easier for so many to spit out the careless, ugly words but so difficult to spread the kind and uplifting ones and 15 is such a tender age. i have age in my poem this week also.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh, fifteen! Thank heaven for our pens and the words pouring through us then. I love where the prompt words took you. Really great relatable write, kiddo!

Indigo said...

"She is exactly who she needs to be."
I know that longing. So many times in my deafness I wished to be what others wanted me to be. Instead I found the beauty hidden within the silence.

Beautiful sentiments conveyed here sweet friend. (Hugs)Indigo

Timoteo said...

I just love this, man...I mean Susie. You have done my list proud!

Lisa A. Williams said...

I remember fifteen hearing the same words and now healing through poetry. Beautiful!

Marian said...

oooooh fifteen is a precipice to wish to be leaped from! that is just brilliant, Susie.

Mama Zen said...

Susie, this is so good. Really outstanding.

Kay L. Davies said...

"the sound of voices trying to change me" — oh, yes, Susie, young women always hear those voices, even if they're imaginary and coming from within. When they are real, and coming from family, they cause a particularly horrid kind of pain.
I have a friend who nursed her mother through cancer, right to the end, with no help from her four brothers. Before she died, the mother was heard telling a friend, "I wish I'd had just boys."
My friend somehow got past the pain of hearing that. I think I might have shot myself right then and there.

L. Edgar Otto said...


hedgewitch said...

This just flows like a river, Susie, and the words are the ripples and currents--too many times they can pull us into the depths, I agree, but fortunately, as your last line says, they make a great life-raft as well. Beautiful work.

kaykuala said...

So much fun to go for a revisit of what had been. You had them all within you, well under control at that young age. Much of that must have guided your future directions. Brilliant word craft Susie!


Sam Edge said...

I like this Sue - love the authenticity of it and brave insight

Helen said...

Lovely poetry, Susie .. just today a wise friend used words similar to a line in your poem ... 'he will find his way, let him be.'

LaTonya Baldwin said...

Fifteen was rough. I can relate. The irony is real for us, poets, isn't it? Enjoyed this.

Wolfsrosebud said...

loved the lesson in this... and the depth you went to get it

razzamadazzle said...

This is wonderful! It really is true that we pour our hearts our to heal the wounds other people's words create. Beautiful!

Karen said...

I felt like I was only stringing disparate words into images, whereas I feel the story and the pain and the saving grace of your words.

Enigmatic Soul said...

"It seems strange words are my savior
when it is words that cause me such pain."

Strange, isn't it? And it is sad besides the insecurities breeding within oneself, one has to fight the external ones too. Ah, teenage. As strong as it is sensitive. Brilliant poem, Susie. :)

Heaven said...

What a look back to that troubling year ~ Self acceptance is what we all aspire to, 15 years or older ~ Love that last two verses, words can hurt, but it can also heal us ~

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