"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Curled Love Notes in Glass

We crush sea shells into the sand
and the feathers of passion take our pain.
The galaxy shining in your eyes plays with the moon
and I wander its star points forgetting to breathe.

Night moves along the beach nudging shadows
to blind lurking eyes determined to judge
ebony sighs upon bare breasts of ivory.
Turquoise waves splash their applause across our skin.

Lost in the depths of you and I we seek no rescue
for our drowning hearts tossed from intolerance’s ship.
We are curled love notes in glass floating on uncertainty.

We watch the horizon for the sun’s knife to slice
through our rendezvous to leave us bleeding in goodbyes.
Before we are stone we kiss the lips of life to seal its memory.

©Susie Clevenger 2013

 Kerry at Real Toads prompted us to write a love sonnet in either the style of  Francesco Petrach or Pablo Neruda. I chose to attempt the sytle of Neruda.


VaNdAnA ShArMa said...

The ending is so wonderful

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is beautiful - the setting of the night beach is so sensual and who could not adore such a line as this:
Lost in the depths of you and I we seek no rescue...?

As a sonnet, your piece gives the same satisfaction as reading one of Neruda's translations: imagery the reader can feel, emotion we can relate to and the vision of love we all long for. Brava!

Björn said...

Wonderful images put in a Neruda sonnet. I love it a lot.

Heaven said...

Love the title and last two stanzas ~ I appreciate the passion and the emotional ending of goodbye ~ Beautiful Susie ~

hedgewitch said...

I love this Susie! You had me at the very first image of crushed seashells--I find that whole first stanza very Neruda-like in it's imagery--intense, unexpected and searing into the reader's mind the sensations rendered by the words. Your use of color is wonderful, also--an excellent sonnet, with that strong end-line, 'bleeding in goodbyes...' Really enjoyed it.

Hannah said...

So many gorgeous and full descriptions in your poem, Susie and I love the surprise in the ending...the turning to stone element...brings a certain magic...whether they literally turn to stone or if the coming of day somehow changes the intensity/reality of the love they so intimately shared. Interesting. :)!!

grapeling said...

"we are curled love notes in glass floating on uncertainty" - love this line, Susie ~ M

Helen said...

... 'we kiss the lips of life to seal its memory' ~~ perfect ending for this lovely sonnet.

Loredana Donovan said...

So many beautiful lines in this, just altogether gorgeous :)

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