"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

NaPoWriMO 2013 Day Three ~ Existential Maybe…..Questions Certainly

She was crazy or spend  a little 
more money and buy the word, demented.
Does it matter what word is used when one’s brain
looks like a walnut dried in the sun?
That poor woman in the mirror, the doctor
said it was Alzheimer’s.

Nellie, your husband is here.
No he isn’t. It is his brother.
Oron is on the roof across the street.

Where am I? Who am I?
Goodness, who put crackers in my socks?

It is chilly outside. I need my coat.
I must check the street.
It is always so busy in front of the house.
Just a peek before I step out.
Damn! It is only the hall!

Someone told me about God once.
Did he forget my address?


More Questions

Does asking questions
really bring answers?
For every point
there is a counterpoint.

Do I accept an answer
simply to allow sleep
because questions
would have me shredding
my pillow from tossing and turning?

My gut feeling is not the same
as someone else’s……
Yet I am told to trust mine.

Perhaps answers are never answers
until I believe I have no more questions.

©Susie Clevenger 2013

Kerry at Real Toads challenged us with existentialism. That seems way over my head. I find myself in that predicament often. The first part of the poem refers to my mother who had Alzheimer's.


aprille said...

Oh dear,and when I woke up this promised to be an easy day :-)
Cuts to the bone this one, Susie.

Jinksy said...

Perhaps answers are never answers
until I believe I have no more questions.

That seems like a great imponderable to me - well done, you!

Kerry O'Connor said...

The erosion of the mind begs several questions about the meaning of a life forgotten by the one who has lived it. You have brought this painful subject to your reader in such a real way, Susie. It is not easy to write about something so closely experienced. Thank you for sharing these words with us.

Ellecee said...

I enjoyed both of your poems,,the frustration of Alzheimer’s where the questions are brought down to an immediate level. Your second seems to me to be where most of us are in all of this "life's meaning" stuff. We struggle to find the most comfortable "place" in our thinking.

hedgewitch said...

This is a good juicy one, Susie. I think examining the way the mind begins to act in the throes of Alzheimer's is very telling--there is something very basic about it, and also about selective memory--I've often thought it the cruelest disease possible, yet perhaps it is even more cruel to those who don't have it but must watch. And the second part here is also extremely thought-provoking--no doubt in my mind that we often make up the answers because we can't live with the questions, on so many levels. I think you did an excellent job with the challenge.

Marian said...

argh, i was reacting all whimsically to "existential" but this is a blow. very strong, Susie.

sreeja harikrishnan said...

the second part is so interesting...I would like to read it many more times.....

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Fabulous write, kiddo. So loving, your poem about your mother. This glimpse makes me lover her dearly. And the answers because we cant live with the questions? Brilliant.

Helen said...

Always hard for me to read about Alzheimer's .. my mother also succumbed to it ... powerful writing, Susie.

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

questions without answers--sets me to thinking --and I suppose that is the idea--both though are just fabulous writes!

Sabio Lantz said...

Fun playful wondering.
Instead of being a "seeker", I like to think of ourselves as "explorers" -- no goal or purpose but to keep exploring.

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, Susie, it is so difficult, isn't it? Both of my parents had dementia. Your first poem brought back so many memories.
Your second brought back many of my pillow-shredding questions, especially my deepest fear, that I have inherited the dementia and it is now only a matter of time.
An excellent write.

Other Mary said...

The Alzheimer's poem is crushingly good. I like the second poem too, it's an interesting way to look at questions and answers. Both are well crafted. (btw - I wrote something today, but didn't like it here, as it wasn't existential)

Emma Major said...

they are both wonderful. the Alzheimer's one really hit the mark. the second one has methinking and questioning :)

Dave King said...

My gut feeling is not the same
as someone else’s……
Yet I am told to trust mine.

An obvious point not often made. Well said here.

Margaret said...

Well, the first poem is gut wrenching. And the second made me smirk... yes, I think we all make up answers at times ... but we pay the price. Which sends us back to asking questions.

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