Thursday, June 7, 2012

My Dear John

This video is the prompt for the New World Creative Union's Wednesday Wake-Up Call


My Dear John

I feel empty,
a mannequin
painted with
a smile,
but has no heart.

When did I become cold?
Winter has stayed with me
when I should be celebrating spring.

You are there as constant
as the sun’s rising.
Your moments tick off
the same way each day.

“We” used to work.
Our dreams were
matching bookends.

I still feel your care, but I can’t respond.
Questions are piling up inside of me,
driving me to seek who I am.

I know it sounds cliché
to leave you a Dear John letter,
but there is no other way.

Walking away is taking all my courage.
I am too much of a coward to face you
and hear you tell me, “This wasn’t our plan.”
                                                                                  
This hurts but so does the feeling
I am on a train desperate
to know its destination.

I don’t doubt you will be fine.
Your world will turn as it always does.
I just won’t be next to you
spinning out of control in mine.


©Susie Clevenger 2012

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17 comments:

Susie Swanson said...

I won't be next to you, spinning out of control in mine,, says it all..I love it..

Chasing Tao said...

Very impressive Susie! You really went into the video and enhanced it with your letter.

I read your poem while listening to the sountrack and it really fit well!

Roger ☺

PS: Really liked this: "...Your world will turn as it always does.I just won’t be next to you spinning out of control in mine."

poetjanstie said...

Ooh, I've watched this video before, but not accompanied by this quality of poetry. Isn't it funny how I don't remember why it didn't give me any inspiration for poetic creation at the time.

'My Dear John'. Sounds so personal to me; there'll be many a John attracted to the title of this poem :-). But I confess I never had a girlfriend, who left me because of a restless search for something she couldn't define; couldn't be doing with will-o'-the-wisps! And yet I think as poets, we are all in this sate, somehow..?

It is a lovely, achingly moving poem, Susie, and it fits the remit perfectly.

Mama Zen said...

I love those last lines!

Daydreamertoo said...

Wow.... I listened to the music after I read your prose. You really pulled on the heart strings in this Susie.
Amazing write!

Other Mary said...

Wow, love this!

Natasha Head said...

Encore! Encore! Sometimes what comes to us is just exactly what is supposed to. Susie...a wonderful accompaniment to the video...the blend is perfect!

Anonymous said...

Fantastic

stu mcp (hate & hope) said...

Now then....THIS is what I'm talking about. REAL poetry- heartfelt, honest, spilled straight ...there is so much in this, sadness, the inner workings of an out of control mind, it captures the out of controlness that a relationship break up can have but imbues it with the weight of colliding planets....I just loved it....made me feel...and THAT is real skill

Ella said...

Bravo Susan!

Susan said...

I like this very much, prompt video with its words and visuals, and your letter/poem. I think it is true that traveling on someone else's tracks is an out of control spin. And I love train imagery of all sorts.

Kerry O'Connor said...

This begs the question of why it hard to end a relationship, even once it has gone bad, the list of reasons, the painful memories, the hope of a future together given up. It's all here - painful and poignant.

Robert Bourne said...

the struggle of an ending.. it is one of life's great storms... and you spoke of it well in this poem...

Siggi in Downeast Maine said...

Took my breath away...
WoW.
Peace
Siggi

Jim said...

Tell it like it is, Susie!! I've heard those words in the real world. The timing was a little different, and defintly it was not in poetic form. I don't really ever tell exactily how it went, parts weren't pretty (I did not get violent).

A lot had to do with the start being two unprepared; almost a child bride and a child groom.
..

Vandana Sharma said...

:) seems to me like full dedication and devotion of one self.

howanxious said...

Really good. The complexity of a relationship and why it comes to an end is so well portrayed in your words.
-HA