Friday, June 24, 2016

Cigarette Burnt Whiskey



This bar smells like cigarette
burnt whiskey with a splash
of Saturday night desperation.
I’m having a hard time wading
through the hormones splashing
against my shore, yet those
green, sea glass eyes of yours are
tempting me to test the water.

There is something about
the hook in your pickup line
that makes me want to get caught.
I feel tiny lust fed goosebumps
pepper my skin with raised flags
of surrender, but my brain
has a Baptist sin book preaching
I haven’t even reached the bottom rung
of Jacob’s ladder from my last backslide.

I don’t know why I’m arguing with myself.
I’ll bookmark hell with a few more
of those guilt shaming sticky notes,
and find out just how far we can swim.
Even if we’re star crossed Shakespeare failures,
it will beat babysitting that wilted bar flower
next to me who keeps bleating about
how her ex didn’t appreciate the amount of
cash it took to keep her in heels.

©Susie Clevenger 2016

Real Toads ~ Bits of Inspiration ~ Amber Rose Tamblyn

9 comments:

telltaletherapy said...

the dialogue is fabulously Marlowesque and loved every line - guilt on sticky notes and goosebump flags of surrender - terrific imagination

blueoran said...

Oh yeah. The sin of description is so seductive here--to fall into that well of cigarette burnt whiskey bare-assed and yahooing. It's almost like a doodle on a cocktail napkin while watching Mister Wrong sashay up through the smoke. Loved it.

brudberg said...

Love the grit in temptations, the lust mingled with doubt.. the sin in the seedy (or not)

Rommy said...

This is so lush with imagery. You've created a complete story, with such an amazing mood as a backdrop.

Kerry O'Connor said...

but my brain
has a Baptist sin book preaching
I haven’t even reached the bottom rung
of Jacob’s ladder from my last backslide..

This had me giggling in glee. Wonderful work, Susie.

angieinspired said...

*applause* kudos on near perfection

Outlawyer said...

Ha. Very chock full! Watch out. Agree with Rommy. Thanks! k.

De said...

The imagery here is fantastic.
My favorite:
"I feel tiny lust fed goosebumps
pepper my skin with raised flags
of surrender"

Outlawyer said...

Ha. Susie--this is so funny and poignant. I left a very lame comment before I think as terribly tired--but it is a very cool poem. Thanks. k.