"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Mourning Gown of Splintered Secrets


The lake waits
for the wind to breathe;
freezing her to the silence
of mute stars.

She had worn her mourning gown
of splintered secrets until
its shards cut through
the roses on her breast.

Love should not be made of
onyx and wolfsbane.
The poisonous darkness
kills affection with its applications
of liar’s poultice and nausea.

Dead without a burial
she walks on the tepid water
painting its mirror with despair.
Beseeching the wind to breathe
she waits for it to exhale
and send her to haunt
the flesh of her deception.


©Susie Clevenger 2012

Real Toads' Kenia Cris challenged us on her Wednesday Challenge to take a line
from a friend's poem to create a surrealistic poem of our own.
I chose the following haiku written by my friend Ben Ditmars
as the inspiration for my writing.

The lake waits
For the wind to breathe;
Freezing her.

©Ben Ditmars









10 comments :

Ben Ditty said...

Beautiful, Susie! And so touched my poem inspired you <3

Susan said...

W-O-W !! Haunting, indeed.

" painting its mirror with despair. Beseeching the wind to breathe she waits for it to exhale and send her to haunt the flesh of her deception."

She is the wind, she is the lake, she is the moon, and she is all she has ever cut herself and dosed herself with too. I love your painting and wish now I could pick up charcoal and draw this, image by image in the wind.

Daydreamertoo said...

Nothing hurts quite like the pain of betrayal, especially in love.
This is dark, mysterious and yes, quite surreal:
'Love should not be made of onyx and wolfsbane. The poisonous darkness kills affection with its applications of liar’s poultice and nausea.'
That really hits the nail on the head.
Great Haiku you chose to use too.

aprille said...

Such icy metaphors making me shiver and wanting to taste that second line again.

Kerry O'Connor said...

These lines really speak the emotional cost of keeping truths hidden. I love the metaphoric truth which is expressed through your surreal landscape.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh my goodness, Susie, simply brilliant writing. Loved the icy images......BRILLIANT title........Love "the silence of mute stars" and "beseeching the wind to breathe"....In a word, I loved this poem entirely. Wonderful writing.

Patricia Anne McGoldrick said...

Wow! This combination of the Haiku words, your lines and the painting is amazing. The cold truth comes through when they are all combined!

Hannah said...

Darkly passionate...the wind breathing and breast of roses...beautiful images, Susie. Nicely written. :)

Kay L. Davies said...

Whew! A powerful write, Susie. It left me breathless.
K

Margaret said...

Love should not be made of
onyx and wolfsbane.

mute stars...

This poem is packed with imagery and also like the idea of facing toward a big water, waiting for the wind to breathe...

Just beautiful and I looked up wolfsbane (a poisonous plant)

© Confessions Of A Laundry Goddess , AllRightsReserved.

Designed by ScreenWritersArena