I got a phone call, your phone call.
I took the bait, swallowed your lie,
felt my heart break, faced goodbye.
You used death as a hook, poured vodka
in a glass and spilled hell in my ears.
How evil to twist cancer around my throat,
rake memories into the despair, leave me
feeling guilty for all the years I let slip through miles.
I should have known it was another
mind warp through alcohol.
I knew the angry, belligerent drunk,
not the remorseful, tearful, fearful you.
Agony, I felt its cut, felt its bleeding…
for you it was simply deception
stirred with a cigarette and a little ice.
The thorning pain of foolish is relentless.
Empathy’s wounds are raw with mistrust.
Now I’m deaf to your wolf cries.
I’ve built a wall to keep you out.
I can’t swim in your river and watch myself drown.
©Susie Clevenger 2016
The first day of National Poetry Writing Month 2016 (NaPoWriMo) ~ 30 poems in 30 days. See you in the whirlwind.