Friday, April 1, 2016

The Thorning Of Foolish

I got a phone call, your phone call.
I took the bait, swallowed your lie,
felt my heart break, faced goodbye.

You used death as a hook, poured vodka
in a glass and spilled hell in my ears.

How evil to twist cancer around my throat,
rake memories into the despair, leave me
feeling guilty for all the years I let slip through miles.

I should have known it was another
mind warp through alcohol.
I knew the angry, belligerent drunk,
not the remorseful, tearful, fearful you.

Agony, I felt its cut, felt its bleeding…
for you it was simply deception
stirred with a cigarette and a little ice.

The thorning  pain of foolish is relentless.
Empathy’s wounds are raw with mistrust.
Now I’m deaf to your wolf cries.
I’ve built a wall to keep you out.
I can’t swim in your river and watch myself drown.
  

©Susie Clevenger 2016

The first day of National Poetry Writing Month 2016 (NaPoWriMo) ~ 30 poems in 30 days. See you in the whirlwind.


18 comments:

Adam said...

I enjoyed reading this very much! The intensity is potent :)

Sanaa Rizvi said...

I’ve built a wall to keep you out.
I can’t swim in your river and watch myself drown.

Such anger such passion that runs through your lines..!
Beautifully executed.

Lots of love,
Sanaa

Kerry O'Connor said...

Agony, I felt its cut, felt its bleeding…
for you it was simply deception
stirred with a cigarette and a little ice.

These lines cut deep for anyone who has been betrayed by their own trust in someone.

Marian said...

Gosh, spilled hell in my ears... such a great way to put it. Well done, Susie. And get that ugliness away from you. xoxo

Jim said...

"Agony, I felt its cut, felt its bleeding…
for you it was simply deception
stirred with a cigarette and a little ice


Remember it well Susie, still, after almost half a century. This tells of a cad at his/her utmost and deals with it well. Thank you,
..

Sherry Blue Sky said...

The manipulation of someone in addiction is something one needs to steer clear of, for one's own survival. Great write, Susie, and wonderful self-awareness. I especially love the strong closing lines.

Anonymous said...

Intense!

Debi Swim said...

for you it was simply deception
stirred with a cigarette and a little ice.... wow. Perfectly worded.

Ellecee said...

Very gritty and potent, Susie. I especially identify with the line "The thorning pain of foolish is relentless." We have all had our moments,,,

Hannah said...

Wise...so much courage to see clearly.

This:

"feeling guilty for all the years I let slip through miles."

Is powerful...great start, Susie!

Gemma Wiseman said...

The facade created by addiction is just that... a facade with no depth or foundation. Love the biting tone in this fight back... determination not to drown in any appeal. A moving piece of writing.

Outlawyer said...

Such a painful and brutal poem. Well done, Susie. k.

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Addiction just sucks at us all really, the addicted and those around the addict--makes me want to cry--this piece--

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Susie, between cancer and alcohol, this poem cut me to the quick... in a very good way. So true, not being able to handle drowning in a cesspool of another's contrivance. This is wonderful writing, babe. Amy

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Wonderful writing, searing imagery, brilliant last line – and absolutely right decision.

Anonymous said...

Brave and poignant.

Marilyn Cavicchia said...

Very powerful. I love the turn in the first line, from just any phone call to *your* phone call. Also, the idea of a cigarette stirring a drink.

Therisa's World said...

Sadly, all too well, I can relate to this poem, Susie, in regards, to my younger brother, in his battle, with alcoholism. In having told him, in August 2007, "he's dead to me, and only want to see him, when he's 6 feet under". As I am walking of healing from the decades of abuse, he made of my life.