"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Carving Wishes

The stars are there, faithful, quiet, watching.
They hold the seeds of a thousand wishes
I've planted with fingertips reaching for dreams.

Tonight I carve another wish into midnight
at the fork of anger and forgiveness.

I am not ready to forgive the boot marks
left by a preacher high on drugs and lies
so direct my outrage into words of change.

This grief is cheap whiskey and I drink the swill
until drunk vocabulary batters my brain with
speech I won’t utter, but the belly burn of bile
is getting harder and harder to swallow.

I’m tossing up a wish for inner peace, a smile
not hiding pain, and an end to my hypocrite’s war
stoning forgiveness.

I’m weary of being judged because I no longer
pay my dues into the till of the righteous crock.

©Susie Clevenger 2015



I call writing poetry my pencil therapy. I have been dealing with something
painful for years. For the most part I have kept it in its cage, but lately the
banging at the cell bars is getting louder. I won't divulge details because
it is too personal and many fall within its net. I've forgiven a lot of things.
I'm afraid this has a lot more miles to go before I reach forgiveness.

Real Toads ~ The Heart's Desire



7 comments :

Kerry O'Connor said...

The imagery of this poem is so strong and the tone so resolute. It is a most impactful piece.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

What is that quote? Forgiveness is accepting that the past cannot be any different. Not saying what happened was acceptable because no violation ever is....just knowing it cant be changed and we want to fly free of that cage of pain. As I always picture you, Susie, for you are a very strong warrior woman. This poem really speaks to me. Bless you.

brudberg said...

I think there are things that are unforgivable, yet forgiveness can be the only way forth, to forget and find a new path.. Your poem is a very very strong, and thank you so much for your comment on my poem.

Margaret said...

that last stanza really resonates with me... Keep writing, keep releasing what is inside - You are strong, don't forget that.

Fireblossom said...

I have stuff I can't forgive, either. I get sick of people telling me to let it go, forgive, blah blah blah. I can't let it go while it's still on fire.

kaykuala said...

Forgiveness is a virtue easy to give but difficult to get. The hurt is difficult to forget that it colored any semblance of appropriateness to forgive. Great write Susie!

Hank

Herotomost said...

There is no better therapy than unburdening, whether through discussion writing or a hundred other ways. The time always comes but we do have to wait for it. I hate that you had the type of pain you are speaking of, but I think you are on the write teach with your "pencil therapy". It sure makes for great reading because this was dark and wonderful. Thanks Susie!

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