Friday, November 27, 2015

Beyond Rattlebone Jumpy

Fear makes me
rattlebone jumpy
peeking at shadows
where questions huddle,
but dread pushes
me to face the music
when I hate the song.

Recently I spent hours collecting
sour notes to string with excuses
until I was devil decorated
and short breathed with half truths.

Some like to say they have
a slip of the tongue.
Not me…I walked a
word right across my lips
spouting “bitch” like I owned
the trademark on it.

Oh, the lady never heard it.
I made an eye judgment;
translated it into snarky
with just enough volume
to keep it close to my hip.

It didn’t take ten minutes
for her to prove me wrong.
She offered a smile and friendship
that left my conscience slapping
my brain around in my skull.

No, the woman didn’t hear it.
I spun “bitch” across the table
into the ears of my husband and friend.
Mean is mean no matter how short the dance,
so here I am with dread demanding payment.

Confession won’t erase I was an ass.
Sorry digs in the wound to see
if truth is ready to thread the needle.


©Susie Clevenger 2015





16 comments:

Marian said...

Awww. Give yourself some love there, Susie. Human, you are. !

Kerry O'Connor said...

but dread pushes
me to face the music
when I hate the song..
That is so well put, Susie.

I can so relate to the scenario you have drawn in this poem.

Anonymous said...

"Dread demanding payment" so very true.

brudberg said...

I can feel the humiliation burning close to dread... However we all make mistakes.. And after all - with time dread might grow to laughter.

Jim said...

Susie, I'm glad you got to air this here. (Was it true, or nearly true?). I was looking for hair pulling from the beginning. Yes, I know, she WAS a 'bitch'. I'll be on your jury any day.
This was crafted sooo cleverly. Loved it.
..

Mama Zen said...

I really relate to this. Excellent.

rhymeswithbug.com said...

we've probably all felt the guilt of our thought. well put. so many great phrasesin this

Fireblossom said...

Whoa! Sometimes the stuff that is the most difficult to write demands the most insistently to be written, and you have aced it here. Yes, even though you're facing music when you hate the song. What a line!

Helen said...

Mean is mean ~ yes it is! I am thoroughly impressed.

Outlawyer said...

So difficult and you have described that difficulty so well. Thanks, Susie. k.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

"Dread pushes me to face the music when I hate the song." Wow, strong and brave, Susie. You rock.

Sioux said...

Those last two lines. Holy **it!

Sara McNulty said...

Love your ending on this, Susie. Come on, thought, give yourself a break.

grapeling said...

bare and raw and powerful ~

Carol Campbell said...

Incredibly real and palpable pain!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Facing the music when you hate the song... Inspired. This was great.