Monday, November 24, 2014

Without Air

I want to know
who I am beneath
the me I carry to
fool the world.

Bits and pieces
of the sky light
my eyes, but when
did my mother’s
smile disappear
from my lips?

So many words
wing across my
thoughts leaving
me feathered
and frozen to
dreams I can’t
decipher.

Who am I hangs
its question mark
on the clouds
while I look for
butterfly shapes
in the fluff.

I am a mess of
unsettled, divided.
Perhaps trying to find
myself in a whirlpool
is more madness
than trying to learn
to breathe without air.


©Susie Clevenger 2014

9 comments:

Björn Rudberg said...

Oh that last stanza.. this is painful to read.. I hope there are ways to bring your mother's smile back to you..

Kathryn Dyche Dechairo said...

I could feel pieces of me in this . . . the questioning of self. I loved feathered and frozen to dreams and trying to learn to breathe without air. Painfully powerful.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

The smile disappearing...so sad, Susie.....and trying to learn to breathe without air- very painful. I, too, hope the smile returns to your lips, and some ease to your heart. I love the part about the bits and pieces of sky lighting your eyes.

Magaly Guerrero said...

I was going to say, "Such helplessness." But changed my mind. The speaker isn't helpless; she's asking and searching and wondering... I trust she'll find again; maybe not her mother's smile, but one of her own.

Kerry O'Connor said...

The quest for understanding of self, is a life-long endeavour. I can relate to the uncertainties you have explored here.

grapeling said...

quite the kicker, Susie ~

Marian said...

aw. the smile line really gets me, too. xo

Cath HC Photographie said...

Très joli post !

Grandmother (Mary) said...

It surprises me how we circle around these questions of who we are regardless of age. I love the bits and pieces of sky lighting your eyes.