Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Please, Not Shakespeare

The monologue I have chosen…..

Please don’t let it be Shakespeare.
I can’t imagine that mouse could roar Hamlet.
Who am I to judge?....Well, it is my ears
that will be assaulted by his inability.

Oh dreaded happenstance that I should be
in the wrong place when there is no right time
to have the Bard’s work slaughtered by incompetence.

Shakespeare’s words are made to soar
not lay flat upon a timid tongue.

Look, he is smiling as if this were some
whimsy to check off his hipster list.
I wish I could administer the slap
of annoyance to his ego it deserves.

Oh wait…..

Technical problems…….
It appears the microphone
has been touched by my ear’s savior and
has gone as quiet as a tomb before one word
of Shakespeare could be uttered.

I will celebrate my ear’s reprieve by leaving
before there is a chance I might be cursed
by actually having to hear him slaughter Hamlet.


……thank you
My monologue was an original piece titled, Preconception.



©Susie Clevenger 2013

At Real Toads Helen Dehner of Poetry Matters provided a list of words for our creativity. Get Listed ~ Helen's Choice

And this haiku....just for fun  :)

with mile high bouffant
she personifies retro
forever sixties

© Susie Clevenger

16 comments:

Kerry O'Connor said...

Considering we have a poetry festival every year where I have to hear Shakespearean monologues slaughtered, this rings very true.

Marian said...

ouch! get me outta here, i *hate* hipster lists! ;)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I smiled all the way through this, Susie - how droll and funny........love the bouffant hairdo too. The minute I saw the word, I flashed back to the sixties.........

Helen said...

How timely! Love your monologue ..
AND the haiku (of course.)

Yesterday (prior to seeing 'The Great Gatsby') I watched a preview of 'Much Ado About Nothing' ~ Looks promising ~~ shot in just twelve days in the director's house!

Maggie Grace said...

Great job wincing at Shakespeare and you know I adore your haiku!

Mama Zen said...

Nothing is worse than badly done Shakespeare! Love the haiku, too!

Kay L. Davies said...

I love your "bouffant" piece, Susie. Was wishing I could find a photo (somewhere there is a 35mm color slide) of me at 15, all dressed up with a bouffant hairdo sprayed white to "go" with my pink and white dress.
Sigh.
And I know what you mean about slaughtering the words of the Bard! Good write.
K

Susie Clevenger said...

@Kerry, thanks. I think Shakespeare done poorly is so grating to the ear.
@Marian, LOL I hate them too!
@Sherry, Thanks Sherry. I don't know why the words had me heading to Shakespeare. My muse must have had to vent. :)
@Helen, Thank you. I will have to check out that preview. I love that play!
@Maggie Grace, Thank you. I thought you would appreciate the haiku. :)
@Mama Zen, Thanks!
@Kay, I would love to see that picture!

Grace said...

Love your take on Shakespeare reading, it certainly deserves more than a timid tongue ~ And that bouffant hairdo made me smile ~

grapeling said...

loved this, Susie, especially the haiku ~ M

Lisa Williams said...

Loved this Susie. My daughter has performed in the Shakespeare festival at school and has made me an admirer of his work. Really like the line about how it deserves more "than a timid tongue." Great job

Fireblossom said...

How now, brown cow! I love this, and agree, he needed slapping, badly.

Robyn Greenhouse said...

I was hoping to find a way to use the word bouffant but it never came to me. Great haiku!

Ben Ditty said...

Forever Sixties could be a retro clothing store ;-)

Sam Edge said...

That was fun

juzta mum said...

Loved it and loved the Haiku!!