Wednesday, April 24, 2013

NaPoWriMo 2013 Day 24 ~ Freedom Buds in Ash



Am I merely a last letter
you’re compelled to write
because guilt holds the pen?

Your goodbye preceded you.
Lips couldn’t wait to whisper
leaving in my ear.

Go on to new love.
My tears will not
be the ink of pleading.

I gave you who I am
and refused your editing
into what you wished me to be.

Goodbye's flames will not consume me.
Among the ashes of your rejection
lies the budding leaf of my freedom.



©Susie Clevenger 2013

Susan at Real Toads has us writing of hello or goodbye. I chose goodbye. There are times goodbye is the blessing you didn't seek. When the pain clears you see it was for the best. Hello/Goodbye

17 comments:

Susan said...

Wow! Such powerful lines: "guilt holds the pen" "whisper leaving"
"ink of pleading" etc. And the blessing arising from the ashes. Beautiful. Thank you.

Polly said...

I like that you will not be edited ... what a great thing for a writer to pen :)

aprille said...

Goodness, you do it each and every time. It astonishes me how you can produce such quality day after day. Not just the phrasing, but the motif and the feeling.

Jinksy said...

That sure tells it like it is - for all of us, I guess! Well done you.

Fireblossom said...

I love the way you've worded these lines. "Your goodbye precedes you". The refused editing. What a marvelous statement of strength, despite hurt.

Mary said...

I am especially struck and moved by "Your goodbye preceded you. Lips couldn't wait to whisper in my ear....." Though there is a sadness in the words, there is also strength, determination, and the knowledge that this good-bye has brought freedom!

Kerry O'Connor said...

My tears will not
be the ink of pleading...

I like the sense of self-worth retained by the speaker, and the phoenix-like image of the final lines.

Kay L. Davies said...

I love this, Susie, especially the last two lines. SO true.
And like some of the others, I admire the way you wrote this as a writer...pen, ink, and all. A big 'wow'!
K

Emma Major said...

this is brilliant and I love how it ends, well done Susie

Marian said...

ah, the ink of pleading. i am familiar. save it for something more constructive. beautiful!

Helen said...

For me ... 'refused your editing' hit hardest. Why do we think it is possible to change the people we say we love ..

Mama Zen said...

That first stanza just blew me away. Wow.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wowzers, a powerful write. I wanted to cheer at "the budding leaf of my freedom". Yes!

Julia Chiang said...

Very nice I love the "guilt holds the pen"!

I also wrote on the same topic...there must be something in the air.

Margaret said...

The last two stanzas made me want to stand up and cheer! Love the strong voice here.

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Susie, "guilt holds the pen," the "ink of pleading." A strong woman wrote this, for sure. There is such a thing as a goodbye preceded by itself... the words are all that's left to ponder. This idea of refusing to be edited? You're talking my first marriage. Glad to know someone who understands that bittersweet goodbye, mingled with the promise of finding yourself. BRILL! Amy (Sorry to comment so late, just got back from after-rehearsal beer and bitch!)

edenhills said...

Beautiful! I love the comparison between the writing and the relationship.