"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Burnt Umber


 The dog days burnt August umber.
Sepia unraveled
spirits yearning for cleansing rain
to wash away malaise.

 I
don’t why we chose
to
begin our marriage when

the sun toasted each rose upon
its thorny, wooden stem.
Impetuous love can only
see through passion’s steamed lens.




©Susie Clevenger 2013
Fireblossom Friday Fireblossom Goes Old School!



16 comments :

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is a very different kind of love poem, and I appreciate your originality in depicting the other side of roses here.

Mixi said...

Wowie! To follow Fireblossom's (decidedly strict) syllabic form and to come up with such a beautiful composition... Amazing.

I loved the last stanza. Beautiful :)

kaykuala said...

If only we had taken care to make a decision at the most opportune moment! Sometimes we're not being fair to our own self. You took to the form so well, Susie! Nicely!

Hank

Jinksy said...

Love the colours your poem paints...

Jinksy said...

P.S Hope you don't mind this suggestion on my part? in the middle stanza, I wonder whether this might work better...

"Why
did we both choose
then
to begin our marriage,

when sun toasted " etc, etc...

Fireblossom said...

Whoa, Susie, you took this challenge and rocked it hard. I was liking it as I began reading, as a simple seasonal poem, but when I got to that line "to wash away malaise", I found myself leaning forward, eager for whatever came next.

Then you spin this into a poem about a marriage and its beginnings, deftly using summer imagery to depict the happy blindness of new romantic love.

Wonderful, wonderful stuff, Susie. Thank you for linking it to my challenge, and also for your kind comment on my own poem.

Marian said...

hah, what's hotter than the heat of August? young love, obviously. this is lovely, Susie!

manicddaily said...

Ha, I was married in August also, though we had certain reasons besides just passion. But this is really lovely, Susie - the dog days, moving to the passion - there is something so renewing here - Very nice. k.

hedgewitch said...

This has a lovely flow to it, Susie, as others have said, and you twine the natural seasons with the seasons of the heart smoothly and beautifully in a great execution of the form. Enjoyed it much.

Helen said...

I haven't used the words 'dog days' since I left Minneapolis! Burnt umber indeed!

Awesome poem ~~ a most difficult form!

vivinfrance said...

A real wow of a poem - it has everything, imagery, emotion, and subtlety.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is absolutely wonderful. Love the title especially much.......

Chhavi Vatwani said...

Very beautiful! I believe there can be no good or bad moment to decide to get married. If you've decided you deal with the soft buds and the thorns both. Together :)

Margaret said...

umber.. sepia... and sun toasted roses

Wow. I love a poem that has an edge and a story to tell. Well done.

Grace said...

Thumps up for the title, so creative ~

I specially like the last stanza, sun toasted each rose, great image here Susie ~

Kim Nelson said...

Passion's lens does skew, indeed! Great conveyance within form, Susie.

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