"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Thursday, December 13, 2012

An Awful Knowing


An evening like any other
until…….
a phone call…..

“Jackie’s dead.
An accident,
he was crushed.

An awful knowing,
my spirit plunges
over the cliff.

NO starts it climb
from horror to my lips.

It isn’t Jackie!
It’s David! It’s David!
David’s dead!! David’s dead!
God, no, it’s David………

A voice tries to comfort me,
“Calm down. She said it was Jackie.”
I knew it wasn’t….

A call to a funeral home
confirmed the empty
place in my heart.
David was gone.


©Susie Clevenger 2012

Fireblossom at Real Toads' Fireblossom Friday (On Wednesday asked us to write about calamities. This one is about a young man who I thought of as my son. My husband and I met him through working with the youth at church and through my husband coaching the church's co-ed softball team. David idolized Charlie. He thought Charlie hung the sun and the moon. Our girls were small at the time and they thought of David as their big brother. It was so hard when we had to move from Missouri to Texas and leave David and his family. I was really good friends with David's mom and after we moved we got a letter that she had cancer. She died just a few months before David's accident. Jackie was David's older brother. It would have been a horrible loss no matter who it was, but as soon as I was told it was Jackie, my heart slammed against my chest because I knew it was David. He was only nineteen. His picture sits on the desk my father built. I have designated that area as my space for writing love letters. I feel David would be pleased to know I am doing my small part to share love with others....most of whom I will never meet. Here are a couple of links that will explain it if you are interested.  Susie's Sentences and moreloveletters.com



12 comments :

Kerry O'Connor said...

It shows a bond that goes beyond flesh and blood that you knew David had died. Ties that bind are beyond human understanding and inexplicable by science. I dread such moments in my life - loss is so difficult to overcome. Thank you for sharing this story, Susie.

Marian said...

oooooh Susie. just love to you, i'm so glad you shared this. so shocking and tragic.

Cynthia Dawn said...

I adored David, he was such a kind, good person. I wish he was still with us.

Kim Nelson said...

These moments verify the connections we don't really understand. What a loss.

http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/12/13/forced-learning-curve/

Poet Laundry said...

Your write made me feel like I was experiencing the shock and loss with you. Wow, thanks for sharing this.

Kay L. Davies said...

I agree with Kim about connections. My mother had such a one with me. I remember telling her about something, and she said, "Yes, I know, it was Thursday."
Your connection with David is very real, I know.
(And Cynthia Dawn looks like you.)
K

Peggy said...

How sad this is--and your anguish so beautifully expressed. Life can be so unfair.

hedgewitch said...

Eerie and so sad, Susie--but I'm glad his picture(and your thoughts of him) have a positive place in your life.

Fireblossom said...

I'm speechless.

Emma Major said...

true horror, so sorry

Lolamouse said...

What a sad story. I am so sorry for your grief. It's wonderful that you now reach out to others with your letter writing. What an intriguing idea. I'm going back to the site to learn more!

Margaret said...

I have designated that area as my space for writing love letters.

There can be no better memorial. I'm off to take a look at the link.

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