Thursday, October 11, 2012

Sand Hallucinations


The Dead Of Night by Mike Zito on Grooveshark


My reality beached
on white sand
and hallucinations,
I send up driftwood
smoke signals
hoping sanity
will find its way
into my brain.

Am I the dead of night
or a human whose
soul has drowned
in waves of hysteria?

My vaporous hands
embrace flesh and blood
in a dance of surf and moon.
With only a mute seashell audience
there is no one to ask but
the beating heart against my breast
to speak my name.

Sound vibrates against my lips.
I beg the voice to speak louder
All I hear are my muffled words
echoing in the wind.

Who am I?
Am I human or a ghost
coughed up by the sea?

Twirling among the stars,
I rake my nails across the Milky Way
wondering if insanity has finally claimed me.


Susie Clevenger 2012
Real Toads ~ Kerry's Wednesday Challenge ~ The Unreliable Narrator

16 comments:

Jinksy said...

Sound vibrates against my lips.
I beg the voice to speak louder
All I hear are my muffled words
echoing in the wind.

Love these lines - a voice crying in the wilderness, no less...Which way lies madness?

Daydreamertoo said...

Haunting...I wonder who she//her/it is too...a ghost coughed up by the sea. Brilliant read.

Lovely imagery. :)

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is so intense, Susie. I love the abstract reality the narrator offers, and that we are left wondering whether we have been privy to insanity or a ghost.

Just loved these lines so much:

With only a mute seashell audience
there is no one to ask but
the beating heart against my breast
to speak my name..

Susan said...

"My vaporous hands"
. . . .
"Twirling among the stars, I rake my nails across the Milky Way"

"Say my name and that will call me home, just say my name," I hear myself saying once when I needed to be called back from the edge. But being alone with the shells and sands isn't the worst option in a hallucination. It was/is too early to let death kiss the soul no matter how present in the night. And you let your narrator know that here and hold on and wonder.

PS: LOVE the song!
PPS: Miss your old portrait atop this blog.

hedgewitch said...

I love the mood in this--sanity and insanity in a dance of perspectives, and some very striking images. I especially loved the third segment about the heart and the name...so evocative of isolation and loneliness. Great conclusion, also.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Imbued with mood, this is absolutely brilliant poetry. Wow, Susie. LOVE this one!

aprille said...

Yes, I'll second that: brilliant indeed.
Wish I could write like that. Where does it come from? Were you surprised yourself when you read it back?

aprille said...

Yes, I'll second that: brilliant indeed.
Wish I could write like that. Where does it come from? Were you surprised yourself when you read it back?

Peggy said...

You really captured the confusion of this lost soul. Wonderful poem showing how this would feel.

Margaret said...

The words really do reflect an inner struggle, a clawing to get out! And the last stanza leaves a powerful visual.

Ellecee said...

I feel the intensity of the narrator's frustration and love the last lines. "I rake my nails across the Millky Way,,,"

Ella said...

So good, So spooky good! I love the music, the mood you set~

I too loved:
"Twirling among the stars, I rake my nails across the Milky Way"
Wow...wonderfully eerie!
Loved it!

Ella said...

I hope my comment went through...I had an issue with computer!
I'll be back to check!
ATB

Robyn Greenhouse said...

Such a perfect feeling set by your poem with Halloween just around the corner!

Hannah said...

You captured well that scary edge of insanity...leaving the question of whether the character had "lost it," or not.

This was my favorite portion:

"My vaporous hands
embrace flesh and blood
in a dance of surf and moon.
With only a mute seashell audience
there is no one to ask but
the beating heart against my breast
to speak my name."

Well done, Susie!!

Ben Ditty said...

Your words are powerful, Susie, and always leave me with questions :-)