"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Summer Is Disappearing


I weep against the window,
my tears the rain of
forgotten memories.

Who am I?
Is this yesterday
that peeks through
the fog drifting
among my thoughts?

Just now I saw my mother
standing among the roses.
She never liked cut flowers.
They reminded her of death
with their wilting petals.

Mother is gone isn’t she?
You told me I remembered
that only this morning.

The nurse wants me
to take another pill
to calm me.
Won’t death be enough
time to spend emotionless?

My husband tells me it is summer,
the time of picnics, swimming,
and long moonlit drives
with the car windows rolled down.

My little girls love summer.
They beg to lie on a blanket
in the backyard to count the stars.

I am so cold. When will winter end?
I tire of snow covering the sidewalks.
There is a nice man standing next to me.
Perhaps I should ask him his name.


©Susie Clevenger 2012

dVerse ~ Poets Pub
In Summer-y; Dog Days/Zucchini/Poetics
This is not what most people would expect
from a prompt that asks to write about summer.
My mother had Alzheimer's and I visit the topic
periodically in my poetry. It is something that will
touch everyone at some point either through a family member,
a friend, or personally. I have included a link to the
Alzheimer's Association 


14 comments :

flipside records said...

Susie, this is the best poem I have read all day. I am blown away by you right now. You perfectly captured this terrifying disease, from the inside-out and the outside-in at the same time.

That part about seeing mother by the roses ... and then asking your husband his name at the end. You really socked me in the gut with this piece. Beautiful, impressive work.

insanebloom said...

this will remain a favorite, Susie. the emotions you have chalked, the pain, the sadness...beautiful. i loved every bit of this, glad i found it. :)

Claudia said...

esp. the last stanza feels like in a dream just before waking...yep...you should ask him his name.. i can understand that with the cut flowers, i also prefer them alive and in nature..

Gemma Wiseman said...

Such a magical sense of intimate insight into this soul who drifts so far from her mind! Haunting, sad and so very beautiful!

John (@bookdreamer) said...

Evokes those bitter sweet moments of lost even though they are they physically. My wife lost her mother this way although she still does the weekly visit. Strangely my poem is also about this subject but it can slip by the reader!

Daydreamertoo said...

Alzheimer's / Dementia are such nasty illnesses to have not just for the person affected but for their who circle of friends and family, because it affects everyone. You've captured everything about remembering but, not remembering and the frustration in it.
I also enjoy seeing flowers alive and in the ground and not cut and dying too soon. A sad, bittersweet lovely, write Susie.

Daydreamertoo said...

Alzheimer's / Dementia are such nasty illnesses to have not just for the person affected but for their who circle of friends and family, because it affects everyone. You've captured everything about remembering but, not remembering and the frustration in it.
I also enjoy seeing flowers alive and in the ground and not cut and dying too soon. A sad, bittersweet lovely, write Susie.

Brian Miller said...

ugh, more than anything this scares me...dementia, alzheimers...really well told and i like that it is a much different take on the prompt...and it has such hard emotions in it as well...thanks for being real...

Marbles in My Pocket said...

Wow! This is so sad, and yet so beautiful. An awesome bit of writing, Susie!

Laurie Kolp said...

Very touching, emotive piece, Susie. I love the opening.

manicddaily said...

Lovely poem, Susie. Very sad and poignant from beginning to end - the rain and the fogged yesterdays and the uncertainty about the man next to her even while remember things her husband said. A terrifying disease. k.

Archna Sharma said...

Susie, what a peaceful way to keep her memory alive, through your poetry. I'm glad that you have this medium to meet her. And placing yourself into her own moments here is very powerful.

poemsofhateandhope.com said...

So good- and a ough subject cleverle but delicately written- i always like the honesty in your words Susie- and the fact that you are not afraid to spill raw life all over the page - very strongand evocative poem-

ordinarylifelessordinary said...

Susie, this is just wonderful, I particularly liked the opening stanzas, for me it captured that sense of how when grieving, the world stands still whilst for everyone else life just moves along and the seasons continue to change.

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