The
fog steals
the
sound
of
my voice
rendering
me
a
mute silhouette
suffocating
in silence.
Alone
feels so tragic
in
the humid mist.
Its
wet fingers
cling to my coat
dragging
me closer
to
desperation.
I
hear the sound
of
life rattling
in
a metallic heartbeat
across
the bridge
above
me.
Somehow
it is comforting
to
feel the vibrations
of
strangers making
their
way through
the
dismal night.
It
is an odd angel chorus
singing
a salvation song
of
daylight beyond my darkness.
Upon
a splintered dock
I
ponder resurrection
and
the oily baptismal waters
splashing below my feet.
©Susie
Clevenger 2012
Written from inspiration
at The Mag ~ Mag 131
18 comments:
"It is an odd angel chorus
singing a salvation song
of daylight beyond my darkness."
So there just may be resurrection! Beautiful descriptions. Wow.
(FYI: fingers cling)
oo very nice...i like the personification of the fog dragging you to desperation....even with the spiritual aspects the end is kinda eerie to me...
hello...i'm new here :^)
to me this is a song of desperation but it is really too about hope.
'daylight beyond my darkness.'
that's the clue. darkness is not all darkness. it made me think that no matter what else the sun does come up again.
i like odd angels :^)
thank you
xo
kj
especially love the second verse!
♥
Oo I think we've both had the same feelings lately :-)
Finding hope in small things...
Sad reflections, he is alone and wondering what to do next and yet, there is hope there at the end in salvation too.
Sad but lovely interpretation of the prompt pic Susie.
Sad reflections, he is alone and wondering what to do next and yet, there is hope there at the end in salvation too.
Sad but lovely interpretation of the prompt pic Susie.
So many great words here! ...on the edge of desperation, this and I love the idea of life tramping across the bridge.
Nice, just so mysterious, this as we don't know what the person will decide to do.
I think it GRAND your daughter made such a trip on her own. I could take such a trip alone and enjoy it (although I would love to go with my family) ... it is just that I could find things to do (paint, sketch, photograph, write poetry) that my loved ones wouldn't give me much chance to do! ... your daughter must be very self assured - you've done a nice job raising her :)
Dark and powerful. Well done.
I specially like the hope in the last stanza ~ Lovely share ~
Hope all is well Susie ~
Susie, there are so many wonderful lines in this ~ I can't begin to choose my favorite!!!
At first we note the despair and loneliness and then there is hope, comfort in the oily baptismal waters. It feels as if life, or a soul, has been saved. Uplifting!
yes, the hope of strangers (anyone) in the fog and the hope in the water. Very good
alone feels tragic in the humid mist... Yes!
A very deep and moving piece, which finds the light and moves toward it! Lovely piece.
Susie, this is haunting and so filled with hope! I get a sense this is you waiting to be found, during your accident~ How brave of you to write this and replay it and how wonderful you are YOU today!
(((hugs)))
this is very deep and meaningful. an excellent poem.
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