Sunday, September 11, 2011

Psychedelic Escape

At dVerse Poets Pub we were asked to go beyond the poem and speak of what prompted it, the psychological state we were in, the dreams or vision that created the piece. I chose this poem because the subject matter is one that had a profound effect upon my life.

This photo was given as a prompt on Magpie Tales. From the first time I saw it I was uncomfortable. The longer I looked at it the more it brought back memories of the terror I experienced from childhood sexual abuse. I kept the horrible secret for years and tried desperately to erase it from my memory. This was written from the darkness that once tormented me.



Psychedelic escape,
drugs altering my reality,
attempting to erase all thoughts of you.

Mind contorting in colors
blue sky rests on my fingertips,
green grass with teeth
gnashing at my feet,
purple flowers walking
with stamen canes along my arm.

Why is everything white?
I see you standing there,
a face with only one eye
boring its way through
my consciousness.

Go away! You are my terror!
I see your hands tearing
away my innocence.
Secrets spiral around me.
I kept your hideous silence.

You are dead! I saw you placed
in the ground, dirt thrown upon you.
Why are you here? Didn’t you take
enough from me?

I can not breathe!
I smell the scent of your cologne.
Someone please help me!
Fear is tearing its way through me.
I want to go back to that land of color
where memories don’t exist!



©Susie Clevenger 2011
Magpie Tales Prompt 82

magpietales
dVerse Poets Pub
Meeting the Bar: Filling in the Gaps

23 comments:

Brandee Shafer said...

Oddly, I can quite relate to the feeling you relay so well. Once, when I was much younger, I got high in an effort to sort of melt into my day. Unfortunately, I found myself even more uncomfortable in my altered reality, and I couldn't escape it. I had to wait it out. It would suck to try to dodge a ghost with drugs only to find him looming larger. Good write.

Kay L. Davies said...

Well done.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Berowne said...

Vivid, powerful writing...

Jinksy said...

Powerful feelings elicited in this scary interpretation...

Jackie Jordan said...

Intense words that bring me back to the '70's free-spirit days. Thanks for sharing.

Ginny Brannan said...

I sense more than just loss and the "drugged" relief needed to cope. Sexual abuse perhaps, a life of pained silence. Your comparison of white vs. color really adds to the intensity of this. Powerful write, Susie.

Brian Miller said...

i want to go back tot he land of color...ugh...i feel that one...had a bad trip once...never again...

Dave King said...

Some good things here, not least among them:"with stamen canes along my arm."
I also like the way you introduce other aspects, drugs for instance. Fine response to the prompt.

Jo Bryant said...

great portrayal of feelings

Tumblewords: said...

Powerful piece - An excellent read!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Wow! What a powerful poem!

Isabel Doyle said...

some fine lines and emotions well expressed

kaykuala said...

You walked us through reeling and staggering. I could feel the lost feeling.I would rather not! Very good verse!

Hank

Trellissimo said...

Fearful!

Tess Kincaid said...

Evocative!

Helen said...

Really enjoyed the intensity of your Magpie ............

hedgewitch said...

Ah, Susie! So brave of you to write this in the first place. I've sought lots of escapes from those too-real memories, and isn't it somehow the smells(for me alcohol on the breath) that seem to bring them back the worst...there is no closure, I think, even the coffin, except living long enough to scar over and build your own life. Excellent poem.

Brian Miller said...

thank you for the unveil on your thought process..and history...i am sorry...it should never happen...it turns my stomach and breaks my heart...

Claudia said...

wow..intense and emotional write...
I want to go back to that land of color
where memories don’t exist!...this sums it up so perfectly..the seeking to escape those haunting memories or feelings which sometimes don't even have a face... sometimes pictures can touch us on a deeper level, bringing things to the surface that have been buried for a while..

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Susie, how powerful. I love Hedgie's comment - she always says exactly the most wonderful thing possible. You are brave for writing this, brave for facing that old ogre........the picture IS disturbing........it has a darkness, under all the white. Yay to you for surviving, thriving, and exorcising those bad times through your poems.

kaykuala said...

A poem intense in its candor. You had the correct words. Beautiful write, Susie!


Hank

Margaret said...

heart wrenching! I want to reach out and protect the child you were... make it go away! You are so strong for sharing this. Silence is also the enemy!

Charles Miller said...

So powerful, such terrible visions and realities. Unfortunately the reality produces these horrifying dreams that have nothing to do with beauty or love. This is very brave of you to allow us to share this madness, this crime that stole so much and gave nothing. At least in turning it to poetic purpose you can redeem that part of your soul that was touched by this.