Pungent enticement
drifts on the air.
Hunger raises its nostrils
searching the draft for sustenance.
Desperation argues with trepidation,
there will be no surviving this bloated wasting.
A growling stomach rumbles in agreement
coercing fear to surrender.
Somewhere in the darkness
lies the relief of starvation,
a waxy yellow seductress
lying in betrayal’s steely teeth.
©Susie Clevenger 2011
OSI Prompt 186: Betrayal
10 comments:
An intelligent take on the topic.
You truly show instead of tell, Susie.
Love all the imagery in here. So well done.
I enjoyed the visual imagery and the emotions you build up here. Nicely written.
Very nice, Susie.
To me this is an intriguing tale of "I'd die for food" theme set to poetry.
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Very well done and love the image too!!
Quite beautifully done,the scene construct is vivid and the narration is smooth. Liked it.
very vivid imagery.
fantastic words.
What an interesting juxtaposition between actual words and intentions. This is very creative.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/09/18/betrayal/
Ha ha, fabulous! Never tried to get inside the head of a mouse. You've done him justice.
What wonderful words! I love 'pungent', 'waxy', 'seductress', 'steely' — and the rest!
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