"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Betrayal


Pungent enticement
drifts on the air.
Hunger raises its nostrils
searching the draft for sustenance.

Desperation argues with trepidation,
there will be no surviving this bloated wasting.
A growling stomach rumbles in agreement
coercing fear to surrender.

Somewhere in the darkness
lies the relief of starvation,
a waxy yellow seductress
lying in betrayal’s steely teeth.



©Susie Clevenger 2011
OSI Prompt 186: Betrayal

onesingleimpression

10 comments :

Shauna said...

An intelligent take on the topic.
You truly show instead of tell, Susie.

teric said...

Love all the imagery in here. So well done.

The Write Girl said...

I enjoyed the visual imagery and the emotions you build up here. Nicely written.

Jim said...

Very nice, Susie.
To me this is an intriguing tale of "I'd die for food" theme set to poetry.
..

Nanka said...

Very well done and love the image too!!

Gyanban said...

Quite beautifully done,the scene construct is vivid and the narration is smooth. Liked it.

The Cello Strings said...

very vivid imagery.
fantastic words.

Kim Nelson said...

What an interesting juxtaposition between actual words and intentions. This is very creative.

http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/09/18/betrayal/

darkangelwrites said...

Ha ha, fabulous! Never tried to get inside the head of a mouse. You've done him justice.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

What wonderful words! I love 'pungent', 'waxy', 'seductress', 'steely' — and the rest!

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