"I am hearing poetry when awake, dreaming poetry when asleep, breathing poetry with each breath, I am living in a poem."

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My New Life

Confessions of a Laundry Goddess




A New Me



Recently I watched a Discovery Channel program on brain injuries. It was all quite interesting but one piece of information was not only informative but actually explained a lot about myself . Some might say I was already brain damaged prior to a life altering event, but it seems I actually have science to confirm I have indeed suffered damage to the very part of the brain that contains the essence of who I am.



Three years ago I was in an auto accident. I suffered numerous injuries. One was head trauma which resulted in being unconscious for an extended period of time and a severe concussion. I experienced some of the worst vertigo of my life. I had no idea whether I was up or down. My head spun with such severity I was sure it was actually physically turning 360 degrees on top of my spine. Any moment I was sure I would be spitting pea soup and a priest would appear to cast out demons!



In the days, months, and years since my accident I found myself stating I did not feel like the same person who had entered the intersection on that sunny May day in 2006. I couldn't’t explain it, but I knew I was different. I have always been outgoing. I made friends easily and I could make a fool of myself without much effort or care. Now it seems that ability has been magnified along with a new characteristic or problem. It is all in how you look at it I suppose. I now find myself with what appears to be ADHD. Trying to get me to focus is like trying to get a cat in a bag without getting clawed. My mind is always working. It is in overdrive while my feet seem to wander wherever they choose.



The part of my brain that was damaged is in the front of the brain. That is where all that makes you who you are is contained. Numerous brain scans did not reveal damage, but according to the Discovery program there can be tiny microscopic tears that can damage and alter who you are.



Those closest to me have noticed subtle changes. Some things that used to interest me no longer hold any interest. While some things I have been interested in now seem to be almost an obsession. I am more prone to take risks. Venture outside my physical and emotional box so to speak. I have always been a happy person. Now I seem to break out in what I can only describe as happy spells. Sporadic spells of pure joy and laughter. It just seems to well up inside of me until it breaks forth on its own accord.



What could have ended my life or caused complete physical mental damage has left me different, but kept in tact much of my old self. I was blessed with a series of miracles that saved my life. I will be forever thankful that God brought me through that day. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring but today is a gift. I will open it. Celebrate it. And hopefully will bring others into my new found exuberance for life!

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